by Bill Hellkamp

A few months ago I did an article on some of the great verbal comebacks of all time. Unfortunately, not everyone is so quick on their feet! Here is a collection of my favorite quotes that prove the old adage, “It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”  These are the inscrutable words of those who chose to remove all doubt!

1.Mariah Carey, singer

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

2. A Decca Recording Company executive on turning down the Beatles in 1962

“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”

3. Joe Theismann, football player and commentator

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

4. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington D.C.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”

5. Yogi Berra, baseball player and manager (good for at least two quotes)

“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”

“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”

6. Kanye West, hip hop performer

Kanye & Kim

“I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.”

7. Kim Kardashian, reality TV personality and wife of Kanye West (birds of a feather)

“I spoke to a girl today who had cancer, and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that’s how I feel.”

8. Axl Rose, rock star

“It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”

Well, we could go on forever because people’s capacity for saying something stupid is inexhaustible. One needs only look to their twitter feed or the comments sections on the internet to see that it’s true. Perhaps I should look back at my own articles before I throw too many stones. If you have a favorite silly quote, use the comment page and we will add it to the collection.